I don’t take it personally anymore when people do or say hurtful things to me.
I was once dating a girl who was nearly 10 years younger than me & one day she made the remark: “You’re old & you have no teeth… you better hope that I don’t leave you, because no one else will want you.”
I’m 40 years old & I do have dentures… I’m not a model, but I’m not a bad looking guy & my fancy plastic teeth are nicer than most people’s real teeth. Furthermore… I’ve spent a few years finding out who I really am & putting a wholehearted effort into the practice of being selfless, honest, pure & loving toward all… I know today, that I’m a good person.
I have some self-confidence & self-esteem now, so my initial reaction was not one of anger or defensiveness… I tried the mindful, understanding approach instead.
She made the statement… I stopped for a moment & thought to myself… why would someone say something like that? & the answer came to me…
She said what she said because she thought that if she could just take my self-esteem from me & convince me that I couldn’t do any better, then I wouldn’t leave her & she could feel safe & secure… she didn’t want to lose me… she didn’t want to be alone.
Now, without this understanding… I probably would have reacted like an ass & said something like: “Well your no prize yourself sweetheart!”… I could have taken the bait & thought… she’s right & cowered to her every demand so that we could live happily ever after drowning in insecurity & fear of being alone…
I could take the time to understand the Truth of the situation… I could feel flattered, instead of hurt, that she would go to that length to hang on to me… I could KNOW who I am rather than allowing someone else to dictate it to me.
In the split second that all of this thought & realization came to me, so did the thought that there is one & only one… right reaction!
I smiled… put my arms around her & said “I Love You!” & I meant it!
The goal for today, know the Truth & the Truth shall set you Free!!
Have a great day everybody!